Say one mean thing about chocolate.  Do it!  DO IT!  Or better yet, try to say something mean while you are eating chocolate.  Chocolate Pie.  THIS Chocolate Pie.

You can’t, can you?  It’s like trying to frown when you skip down the hall.  Or trying to be mad while you whistle.  It’s impossible.  It’s Ok though.  It’s the universe.  Nothing rhymes with orange and you can’t say anything bad about chocolate.

A fly just flew into my computer screen, nice try buddy.  I don’t blame you though.  I too am having sudden urges to jump in there and swim around.

Do you remember these chocolate wafers?  They look super familiar to me too, but I can’t quite remember what goodness they were transformed into as a small child.  Butter!  Chocolate Chips!

Oh, man.

 

Uh-huh.

That is the cookies in the food processor into which the melted butter and chocolate chips drizzles in (and around) the opening.

 

Dump that chocolately chocolate crunchy crunch into a pie dish.

And smoosh it.

For the creamy pie part, gather the goods.

Mix the sugar, corn starch, cocoa powder, salt in your cookin’ pot.

 

Separate your eggs 1 -2- 3- 4- 5- 6, but save your whites.  David Lebovitz has a great post here telling you what to do with all of them.

Mix your pyramid of yolks with the dry ingredients.

It’s super thick.  That’s good.

Low fat milk!?! No!  NOOO!  I just straight up used Whole Milk.  Worth it.

Mix it up, whisk, whisk.  Go get your muscles and mix it more until it’s thick like this.

And they meet.

And they are meeting.

And they’ve met.  Try to say something mean just looking at this.  Ok, now stop trying, don’t waste your time.

Whip up your cream, sugar, vanilla and if you don’t have a pastry bag like me, just stick it in a gallon plastic ziptop bag, cut the corner off and dollop away.  Dollop.  Dollop.  Dollop.  Dollop dollop dollop. Dollop.

Black- Bottom Chocolate Pie

adapted from epicurious

Crust

Nonstick vegetable oil spray

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter

1 ounce semisweet chocolate chips

30 chocolate wafer cookies

Filling

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

Pinch of salt

6 large egg yolks

2 cups whole milk

1/2 cup chilled whipping cream

6 ounces  semisweet chocolate chips

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping

1 cup chilled whipping cream

2 tablespoons powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 

To prepare crust:

Spray 9-inch-diameter glass pie dish with nonstick spray. Stir butter and chocolate in heavy

small saucepan over low heat until melted. Finely grind cookies in processor. Add chocolate-

butter mixture. Process until crumbs are moistened. Press crumb mixture into prepared pie

dish. Freeze until firm, about 30 minutes.

To prepare filling:

Whisk first 4 ingredients in heavy medium saucepan to blend. Whisk in egg yolks to form thick

paste. Gradually whisk in milk, then cream. Whisk over medium-high heat until mixture

thickens and boils 1 minute. Remove from heat. Add chocolate and whisk until smooth. Whisk

vanilla. Cool 5 minutes, whisking occasionally. Transfer filling to frozen crust. Chill

until cold, at least 2 hours and up to 1 day.

To prepare topping:

Beat first 3 ingredients in large bowl until firm peaks form. Spoon whipped cream into pastry

bag fitted with large star tip. Pipe whatever you want, or just spread on top.

(Can be made 4 hours ahead; chill.)